So I met this guy a little while back. He was, of course, pretty (they always are), funny, and local. He thought the kink thing was just grand, and said that he wanted to be kinkier too, but just needed someone to explore that with him.
I tried not to roll my eyes, smiled, and said 'uh huh'. 'Cause it's got nothing to do with me hating "vanillas", and everything to do with me not wanting to be anyone's kinky tour guide. I'm all for people exploring - i'm just way too tired to lead that expedition. Just do me. Do me like you own me (or ya never will), and fuck the wanting me to drive. Tired, i tell you.
We talk, and of course, he's hyperfocused on sex and sexuality and expressions of kink. Why the hell not? I'm liberal and open and he's finally hit paydirt with a chick who isn't going to say "omg you're disgusting you freak, i'm not doing that". Generally? Yeah. I did bee guy. I'm open minded and willing.
So anyway, as he continues to ask me the "have you ever done this? Would you do it again?" questions, i'm feeling more invaded and objectified and less human. Sure, that can be hot. Not so much when you don't know the person, and you're just plain bone-tired. And when he asked me "so what's the one thing you've never done, that you really want to more than anything else?" i responded kinda snarkily and agressively.
"I want someone who loves me wholly and completely, who makes me the center of their world, because i'll make him mine. Someone who is capable without me, but better with me, because i'll need him that way too. And i want to love him, and be loved by him, for the rest of my life. That's what i want that i've never done, and never had".
He didn't say anything, and then stuttered a second, and said "uh...ok, well i just kinda meant sexually, like being loaned out for sex or something".
Indeed. Sigh.
This woman who takes on the world
And picks up your shirts, keeps it together somehow
This same woman that melts with your touch
Wants you to feel what I'm feeling right now
'Cause this woman needs
A safe place to land
The strength in your hands
To know you know
What this woman needs
Is somewhere to cry
So lay by my side
And I'll tell you, I'll tell you
This woman needs to be reassured
That my heart's your home, and love is what wills you to stay
I need you to see me in every light
And hear that you still think I'm beautiful anyway
Cause this woman needs
A safe place to land
The strength in your hands
To know you know
What this woman needs
Is somewhere to cry
So lay by my side
And I'll tell you, I'll tell you
What this woman needs
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