My comment is waaaaay too long....sorry!
First I must say I do not agree with you at all. Now, please know I am only saying that so that we can mud wrestle. But if you promise to still jump in the pit with me I will admit I agree with you for the most part.
In my blog I was more so referring to people using it just to say it. Ok, pull out your carpet square it is story time. So I used to throw the word love around a lot to. I was a chick who had tons of friends and loved them all. So I got involved with the guy. Nice guy, spoiled me rotten, cute, etc but really did not rock my world in the “in love” kind of way, but I was younger and did not know any better. I liked him a whole lot. I liked being with him, I liked the fact that he bought me pretty things and took me to nice places. He told me he loved me one day. Of course, I flipped my hair, squeaked, giggled and told him I love him too. I did not say it with malice or intention to use him. I said it cause I enjoyed spending time with him and I had never really been “in love” so I thought this was as close as I knew of it.
So over the last few months this guy poured his heart out. He loved me, he did everything for me, you could see in his eyes that he cared deeply. Now when he would say, I love you, it was deep, he would look me in the eyes and the sincerity poured out everywhere. When I said it, I was cutesy and giggly at best. So one day Mr Nice guy came into my work where a cute female co worker and I were very friendly with each other. She was leaving for the day and I said, “See ya, you know I love you bunches” as I giggled. She giggled back and said “love ya too!” I looked over at Mr. Nice guy and he looked crushed, really crushed. Kind of like someone just backed over his cat crushed. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “You told her you loved her the same way you tell me, the same tone, the same giggle.” He knew then, I did not love him. I knew then too. (now I am referring to not being in love with him in the same warm, fuzzy way he was with me) We talked forever that night. He told me how hurt he was, I told him that was not my intention.
Ok, so you get the idea of the story. Because I was ignorant of how deeply he felt about me, I hurt him deeply. My fun, silly, cutesy love was not the same as his heartfelt, deep, I want to spend forever with you love. That has stuck with me. I never want to hurt another because I am being giggly and cute.
Ok, so at some point I came online and saw how the online world of bdsm dating went. People chatting for a week and say, “I love you.” I would roll my eyes and hit ignore. How can you love me in a week? How can you love me when you have never met me? I could bore you with a list of questions but I will stop here. It just seemed to me that the word was thrown around, almost like it was just something to say. I hate that. Now that I am an adult I am with Mr Nice Guy, I want to know it, I want to believe it when someone shares that with me. So there for if I am with someone who told the last dozen chicks he dated for two weeks each that they were the love of his life, I have issues believing it when he says it to me. I mean come on, should we get t-shirts? Love of my life 1, love of my life 2, etc etc.
Now on the other hand I agree with you. (although the wrestling match is still on, just for fun) There is never too much love in ones life. I am not afraid to say or express it. I guess there are just different kinds of love to me, if that makes sense. I have friends I value and love having them in my life, so yeah I love them but to me that is not the same as the way I love my Master.
I love being loved, I love feeling loved, I feel joy knowing that I mean so much to someone that they would share their love with me. So feeling someone elses love feeds me, makes me happy and tingly inside and makes me want to love them back even harder. But in order for me to feel it, I need to believe it. And to me if someone has told it to the last dozen and then realized, Oh hey, it was not really love” that would put question in my head that it is with me.
Now that I have bored you with my way too long comment, I will say this. As long as anyone is happy with the love they feel and share then they should spread it around as much as they like. Because in all reality the only person you have to worry about whether or not they are happy with you is the one that you love……how many ever that should be.
No comments:
Post a Comment